Void
by Katalystik
Summary: Kaidoh is lost. Inui is found. Inukai, slight Momokai and MomoRyo


Title: Void  
Author:Voodoodoll  
Rating:A tentative R.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Angst  
Pairings: InuKai, MomoKai, (slight) MomoRyoma  
Fandom: Prince of Tennis  
Notes: I cannot write in present tense, but my mind forced me to write some weirdly construed mess of weird formatting/tense-ness. First tenipuri fic, so be warned? Aha, and I made Kaidoh a total smoosh in this. But it's sad, because that's how he is in my mind. Oh, and unbeta'd.

Time moves a bit slower now that Kaidoh Kaoru's in his third year of Seigaku. He finds himself staring at the clock in classes, eyes processing the ticking seconds. Bits of lectures usually spent in rapt attention and spans of work time when his hand should be carefully penning out letters and answers are now wasted on inane thoughts of what is going on outside- what others are doing. His brain makes it a point as not to specify who the others might be. His grades are slipping and he knows it, but can't find it in him to apply himself fully when his attention won't stop wandering.

Kaidoh discovers on a Monday morning, early, early morning, as he doesn't sleep much anymore- can't- that splotched patches of skin are spreading under his eyes. He gingerly presses his face with calloused fingertips and the bags under his eyes feel feather soft. He hardly notices when the skin becomes wet, salt leaking into his mouth and the next second he's on the bathroom floor, crying, and he doesn't even know why. He falls asleep on the cold tiles and is late for school when he wakes up. He doesn't go that day.

Tennis is a flickering joy for Kaidoh. He can still get into the game; he's still good at what he does- almost the best on the team now that Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-senpai and Inui-senpai- Kaidoh curses as he misses an easy ball, causing Momo-bastard to whoop and jeer at him. But Kaidoh can't retaliate, as a large lump has wedged itself in his throat and the now-familiar chill of tears threatening to spill from the curve of his eyes. He makes a hasty retreat from the court, leaving Momo staring, racket dropping from his fingers as he starts to follow Kaidoh. He doesn't in the end, though, because Momo doesn't ever worry about Kaidoh, of course not- but he has to fight against his legs not to run to that clubhouse and slap some sense into the dumb viper. Kaidoh's not the same anymore, and Momo wants to know why. Momo doesn't want to be left behind by Kaidoh.

It is a Monday afternoon, and Kaidoh is changing in the locker room. Momo is watching him, Momo is being discreet and Momo does not know what he's going to do but he's sure he has to do something. As the captain of the Seigaku tennis team, hell, as the viper's rival, he has to do something. Kaidoh, he is noticing, is getting thin- not skin and bones, but not solid and hard like he should be. Like he used to be. Now Kaidoh is shaping into what reminds Momo of a stray cat- raw muscle on bone, no excess, just lean and right on this side of the line of unhealthy, obvious now without a shirt to cover him. Something within Momo catches as he quietly observes from behind his hiding place of his locker door that Kaidoh isn't moving anymore, just standing there. Not making any movements to get into his jersey, just sitting with that look on his face like on the courts- like he was on the verge of having a breakdown. This pisses Momo off and he almost storms out to do /something, anything, to change that expression into the familiar anger or obstinance, but something stops him. Kaidoh pulls out something from his locker, a towel, green, and that's when he starts to cry. Momo is horrified. Momo cancels practice that day.

It's the next Monday and Momo decides he's had enough waiting. Kaidoh has not gotten better, and better in Momo's mind for Kaidoh is meaner, angrier, more snaky and biting- he doesn't ever want to see Kaidoh cry again, because he shouldn't have the right to. Ryoma wants him to go to the burger shop, to give him a ride home, this time I guess I'll pay, Momo-senpai, but Momo shakes his head no and nods a sullen Echizen off with a Next time, next time, Echizen. Momo watches Ryoma until he's rounded the corner of the school and feels something like guilt not for what he's just done, but for something he hasn't done yet. And Momo doesn't have any plans for what he's about to do, just a vague notion. Momo takes a deep breath.

It's Monday, and practice is over, and Kaidoh can't make himself move from his locker just yet because for some reason his arms won't lift enough to change. He's sweating and hungry and half-dead feeling from the headache pounding in his head. He doesn't know what he's waiting for- he doesn't know exactly why he can't move on from this strain, he doesn't know, he doesn't know, and goddamn it why doesn't he know! He isn't even aware of the pain of his fist, curled into a tight ball, ricocheting off his locker as he began to hit the metal over and over. Something inside him laughed- something inside him knew why- and Kaidoh stops hitting the locker not because of the pain, but because a hand, large and strong like a vice, gripping through the slippery blood Kaidoh is not aware was even there- though it was running down the locker and his arm, tickling- stops him. Before he knows what is happening, he attacks.

Momo is a little too happy to get such a reaction from Kaidoh- he falls to the floor with the blow to his cheek, and is pinned there as Kaidoh follows him to the cement. Kaidoh is hitting him and punching him- not good punches, they are a bit to frenzied and wild to really do damage, but they still hurt because Kaidoh is still strong. Momo pushes hard at Kaidoh's chest, shoving him back against a bleacher, and Kaidoh is snarling and hissing at him and Momo pins him, desperately flailing. Momo can feel a bit less worried with Kaidoh this way, angry and violent and beautifully viscious. Soon, neither of them able to move much, Kaidoh's breathing slows down and Momo's hold on the other loosens. Momo lets go of him- even helps him up and ignores the fact that Kaidoh is trembling and his face is too soft to be right. They stand in silence for a minute, all of Momo's plans to get Kaidoh to be Kaidoh blown out the window and Kaidoh is looking like he's going to dart- Momo gathers up his courage and pulls out a notebook from his back pocket- he knew he was going to do this all along, subconciously- and watches as Kaidoh stiffens and stares. Momo had found the green book outside before practice and had known its owner instantly. But why had it decided to show up here, months after Inui had left? Had Inui come to practice? Why had Inui left so suddenly, then? Momo hadn't caught sight of the tall boy. Momo had debated with himself all during practice. In the end, Momo had opened the notebook- found data, all Kaidou's. Found notes about Kaidoh's eye color, the probablities of Kaidoh rejecting a kiss, 89. Had found a scribble of Inui's, a note near the end of the percentage of Kaidoh missing Inui after he'd graduated- 8. Momo had put the pieces together- He hands the notebook to Kaidoh, whos hands lift to recieve it even before he registers the action. He lifts his eyes, wide and dawning understanding eminent. Momo scratches his head and asks Kaidoh to please do his buchou a favor and return it to Inui-senpai, please, because Kaidoh would know where to find him, right? Kaidoh doesn't ask any questions, just leaves the clubroom. But as he opens the door he turns just a little, glaring at Momo, a hint of normalcy, before leaving. Momo is overjoyed.

Kaidoh finds Inui easily; he's known where to find him all along. His legs are moving faster than they ever have before, and his brain seems to have clicked back together even though he still can't tell what is going on, why he feels so nervous but not so sad anymore. He find himself outside of a large apartment building and it's starting to get dark, and Kaidoh starts to get nervous. His hands begin to sweat, and the notebook in his grasp seems to be the only solid thing about him. He presses the buzzer to the apartment building, the button next to the Inui family label, and waits. He doesn't wait long, not long at all, before a deep voice over the intercom asks who it is- Kaidoh's blood races and oh god he's going to throw up- but he presses the intercom button and calmly replies It's me, senpai, I have your notebook- and is cut off. I'll be right down, Inui says, and Kaidoh has never heard his senpai sound so off, so nervous- like him, he thinks, and waits in the longest seconds of his life. He jumps as Inui bursts through the door, breathless- he must have ran down the stairs- and turns, seeing Kaidoh. The two stare at each other for a few moments, still, before Inui asks Kaidoh to come upstairs, please, in an oddly choked voice.

Once in Inui's apartment- Kaidoh slips off his shoes and notices that they must be the only ones there- Inui turns to Kaidoh. Kaidoh is having a bit of trouble breathing, and his mind is replaying daydreams and fantasies that started like this, dreams he can't remember having. He watches Inui open his mouth, close it, watches his adam's apple jump as he swallows audibly. This silence is nothing like the periods of quiet they used to have, little spots of time in between runs where no words were needed because no breath could be spared for them or sometimes when they would sit by the overpass, watching the river in companionable quiet and watch the river. This- this doesn't feel comfortable or safe, this feels like losing- this feels like losing a game, and Kaidoh is not willing to lose. Kaidoh is still good at what he does. Inui is still staring at Kaidoh through the shadows of the small apartment living room, and Kaidoh is glad there is no light to reveal his own paleness, the darkness under his eyes, his weaknesses. He takes a breath, deep until his lungs are full, and pulls Inui forward. He doesn't exhale until Inui opens his mouth against his, until his hands grab Kaidoh's arms in a desparate grip. Kaidoh breathes in again knowing he was not alone, not stupid for waiting and hurting and missing.

Kaidoh is comforted by the fact that Inui also has dark bags under his eyes, bruise colored skin peeking from just below the rims of his glasses. He can't kiss with his eyes closed, not when this feels so good, and he wants to know if Inui is watching his through those damned glasses, watching Kaidoh watching him. Bedsprings squeak as Kaidoh shoves Inui back- roughly, fast and hard with haste because Kaidoh can't wait anymore. Inui is panting and his lips are swollen and shining as Kaidon pins him to the bed with a large hand spread against his stomach. Kaidoh rips the glasses from his senpai's face- stares into black eyes, deep and warm and shining wetly and Kaidoh almost laughs because this is what he's been waiting for, and isn't it simple? Isn't it goddamn stupid- he whispers roughly, canting forward and crushing his lips to Inui's. This time Kaidoh does close his eyes, because it's just too good to comprehend, Inui's hands creeping around and under his clothes is making Kaidoh forget all the bitterness he had been feeling. Kaidoh lets himself be persuaded under his senpai, lets his shirt be coaxed off with deepening kisses and deep murmurs. Kaidoh angles a leg around Inui, pulls him between his thighs, and oh, oh. Inui hisses in pain and Kaidoh realizes that he had clawed his senpai's back in sensation, dull fingernails grinding shallow dents into that muscled back. Kaidoh has never felt so good- how could he have known that kissing Inui, long, deep, open mouthed touches, was what he wanted all along? He runs a foot roughly up and down Inui's calf. They are both stupid, he realizes, but it's better this way.

Kaidoh comes home that night happy, for the first time in a while, and sleeps the first good night's of sleep that he's had in months. He wakes up to a surpise, though it should have been obvious while he was letting Inui suck on his neck, back in his senpai's bed. Large, angry red hickeys line his neck, even going up as far as his jaw, and Kaidoh hisses and turns a red to match the marks. He finds the high neck of his uniform a solace during school, hiding the evidence of the previous night from his classmates. He is able to concentrate in his classes, even able to ignore Momo's knowing stares, the bastard. Tennis practice comes quickly- Kaidoh, jersey zipped to his chin, beats Arai in a flawless set. Momo whistles after his match and congratulates him, says he's glad he's back to normal, he was starting to wor- Kaidoh punches Momo hard, squarely in the jaw. Kaidoh is internally grateful to Momo, but where does the idiot think he came off getting involved in Kaidoh's business? Momo yells a threat at Kaidoh's back, and Echizen comes over and demands a trip to Q-Burger, Momo's treat for ignoring his the past day. Kaidoh is just about to pass the school gates, his bag slung over his shoulder and sky turning orange with evening, when a large fingure, leaning on the gate, catches his attention. Inui looks up from a notebook, Ya, Kaidoh. Kaidoh feels a blush flare on his cheeks and hisses before passing his senpai without a word. Sorry for making you wait, Kaidoh, Inui says softly, so softly that Kaidoh hardly hears it over the rustle of the wind. Kaidoh smiles and continues to walk, but he can't help but feel that everything is back to normal.

Yep. wince and cowers It's a monstrosity! Er, comment, please. Critiques would be super! Er...and so would just plain ol' comments.


End file.
